NYC:GroundhogDay

Missing from the action was Mayor Bill deBlasio, who, having failed in his commitments to Animal-loving Real Estate Moguls seeking to eliminate the Central Park horse drawn set, and whose Administration is currently under investigation for possible campaign finance violations, said investigation now possibly having expanded into the Mysterious Death of Staten Island Chuck in his previous incarnation, has apparently foresworn all involvement with animals through the conclusion of the election year. Having just settled a deal with the NYPD, he was seen happily making his way to the Park Slope Y where he could exercise undisturbed by protesting cops, and where the only wildlife are the hipsters and gentrifying stroller moms protesting outside “Brooklyn Chuck’s” condo on Prospect Park West, far from SI Chuck.  

 

Fortunately for the current transgender prognosticator, SI Chuck is safe to live another day.

 

-Brooklyn Beat

Deep in the Heart of Brooklyn